One of the best feelings in life is the lift in your chest when you finally tell someone. It’s like taking off a heavy backpack, or climbing out of the pool and re-orientating with gravity, or finally twisting open a new jar lid. The pressure lifts. Freedom bubbles up. Every muscle relaxes.
I’m naturally a happy person, but I’m not always happy. I have doubted so much about God, and though my faith in God is growing, I still go through hard days and times where I’m just not sure about who he really is, who I am, and if he’s even there.
It’s not just doubt – lots of things bring me down. People annoy me, I get angry, or maybe I’m down and low on myself. Fear, intimidation, pretending, pressure, a sense of inferiority, failure, disappointments, broken promises, feelings – there can be so much stuff going on in our lives that drags us down to the dumps, or feelings that leave us whimpering in the corner. We feel stuck from living the life we know we could live, but we just don’t know the way to get there when we have these issues piling up around us.
I think there is hope for all of us in the midst of our awful times, because no matter what, you are not alone. Cling on with every fibre of hope in you, even if you aren’t positive about it, that God is there for you. A friend told me once, believe like God isn’t there, and you will know the truth. The darkest point in my life was realising how much joy, hope, security, and promise God gives me and how dismal and unfulfilling life is without him in it. Someone else said that God might be a crutch, something we hold on to for survival, but we all have a crutch in any case, whether that be money, popularity, beauty, security, family, friends, or a job. God might be my crutch, but he will last forever and he satisfies in the deepest ways. Come near to him, and he will come near to you. You are free to struggle, but you aren’t struggling to be free, because in Christ there is no condemnation.
So what I’m trying to say is, it’s okay to be here wherever you are. Whatever stage you are in. The darkness won’t win.
My enemies are waiting for me, they accuse me of things I’ve never done; with every breath they threaten me with violence. Yet I am confident I will see the Lord’s goodness while I am here in the land of the living. Wait patiently for the LORD. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the LORD. (Psalm 27:11b, 12b – 14)
PS other things to do when you are sad and in The Unsure include, but are not limited to:
- Eating Subway or treating yourself to a lunch you like
- Chocolate. Right now calming down is more important than your waistline.
- Good music
- Go on a drive
- Thinking about something else
- Taking it easier – you still need to go to work but try and do the easy jobs that day
- Rewarding yourself for accomplishing what you had to do
- Praying lots
- Watch a movie or read a book
- Make dinner, make a chatterbox, make something!
- Keep busy
- Get hugs
- Wear something nice so you don’t feel that you look like you feel.
- Talk to someone (post coming…)