It’s time for letting go
All of our if only’s
‘Cause we don’t have a time machine
And even if we did
Would we really want to use it?
Would we really want to go change everything?
‘Cause we are who and where
And what we are for now
And this is the only moment
We can do anything about!
So breathe it in and breathe it out
And listen to your heartbeat
There’s a wonder in the here and now
It’s right there in front of you
I don’t want you to miss the miracle of the moment
– from Miracle of the Moment by Steven Curtis Chapman
I used to want everything to be perfect in my life. I don’t mean I was a perfectionalist, but I wanted everything flowing as smoothly as an orchestra playing an andante sonatina. Let’s admit it; the rosy-coloured, rosy-cheeked world, where everything happens like they do in books or in the movies, is kind of appealing. No embarrassing mistakes, clumsy moves, or awkward moments (unless there was a classic line to go with it, and I wasn’t the joke). Instead, we always say the most beautiful things at just the right moment, all the bad guys get caught and the good guys are made heroes, and frankly… I’m cool! Wouldn’t a perfect world like that be loverly?
Since then I’ve come to the place where I’m glad I don’t live in a perfect world, according to my definition of the word ‘perfect’. In my world, one person stops talking and other person starts. In reality, however, life is messy and sometimes people are talking all at once. In my world, everyone would have either a wonderful life, or a tragically sad one (and those are only the lonely travellers you meet every once in a while.) In reality, everybody has been on a unique journey. They’ve learnt different lessons in their own ways, and they wear scars that aren’t quite like anybody else’s. I don’t know what it was like to live in a ‘perfect world’ in the garden of Eden, or what it will be like living in heaven where there are no more tears. Right now, however, I’m learning the beauty of tears. The special place a messy moment has. In those difficult, crazy busy, laugh-till-your-side-hurts, dangerous, heart wrenching, scary, exhilarating, bittersweet, gorgeous, tearful, hurting, moments, I can see the fingerprints of grace.
There’s blood. There’s a cross. There’s redemption in Jesus. He’s taken out of my life the guilt and condemnation and shame, and replaced it with love, freedom, and the promise that he works all things together for good to those who love him, who are called according to his works and purposes. This life I’ve been given, it’s right and good despite the messiness.
And so I’m learning to jump into this life and let go of my perfect world. To learn from my mistakes, to get impromptu with my family, to pull a crazy face at the camera with my sister, to grieve and rejoice and pray with my friends, to love and build those invaluable relationships with others, to enjoy the colours and tastes and smells and adventures of life. To live in the ‘miracle of the moment’. This is the life God’s given me. God is in control!
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